Slumber Party/ Transcript

Olivia: That's probably Matt and Sputnik here for your slumber party.

Halley: [curiously and quietly to herself, peaking through the bars of the crib] Slumber party.

[Outside, Matt and Sputnik are standing on the front porch, waiting to be let inside.]

Sputnik: I still don't see why I have to sleep in the dumb old baby's room.

Matt: Cupcake, it's gonna be your first slumber party!

[The door opens, Matthew and Olivia are on the other side of the door.]

Matthew: Bro! How you doing sweetie?

Matt: Muffin?

Sputnik: Thank you so much for letting me and daddy spend the weekend with you.

Olivia: Of course sweettums.

[Olivia reaches in to give Sputnik a hug.]

Matthew: I'm just gonna say it Matt, she's the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen.

Matt: No question about it little brother.

Olivia: Why don't you three have a seat in the living room and I'll go get Halley.

Matt: Come on Muffin.

[Sputnik kicks her leg in protest as she walks into the house.]

[Later, Sputnik and Halley are sitting on the floor of the living room. Halleg is sucking on a bottle while the adults sit on the couch, talking.]

Matthew: So how's the wife?

Matt: Well you know Lillian, work work work.

Sputnik: Now listen here! I've got better things to do than sleep in a bottle sucking baby's room, but since I've gotta, I get first gives on beds.

[Cut back to the adults talking.]

Matthew: Recycling toilet tissue.

Olivia: Gosh!

Matthew: Recycling toilet tissue? Tough idea to sell I imagine.

Matt: Mmmm hmmm.

Sputnik: Why don't you grow up, and quit sucking that dumb bottle. only babies suck on bottles.

[Halley continues to drink her bottle, ignoring Sputnik. Just then, Olivia gets up and walks up behind Halley.]

Olivia: Oh look it's time for the kids nap! Is Sputnik ready for sleepy-by?

[Angelica gives an evil smile up towards Olivia. Halley stops drinking her bottle for a brief moment.]

Halley: Huh?

[Cut to Halley's bedroom where Halley is in her crib, and Olivia is getting a small cot for a bed situated for Sputnik. Sputnik is now lying down in the cot bed, and Olivia is tucking her in.]

Olivia: There, you see? You have your very own bed.

Sputnik: Thank you aunt Olivia, it's so nice and comfy!

[Olivia goes over to the crib to check on Halley before leaving the room.]

Olivia: And how are you sleepy head? Ready for nappy by?

[Sputnik taps a finger on one of the bars of Halley's crib, as  Olivia leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Once she's gone, Sputnik clears her throat loudly.]

Halley: Sputnik?

Sputnik: [punching her pillow] What dribble face.

Halley: What's a slumber party?

Sputnik: That's a really dumb question that only a baby bottle sucker would ask. [sniffing away] It's smells like a baby's room in here. I'm going to open this window.

[She gets out of bed and opens the window, at which time, cold air blows into the room. Halley stands up in bed and looks towards the window.]

Sputnik: That's better.

Halley: Aaahhh, too cold.

Sputnik: [teasingly] Awe, mommy's little baby too cold?

Halley: So come on, tell me, what's a slumber party?

Sputnik: If you have to ask, you'll never know.

[Sputnik curls up back in her cot, pulls the covers over her head and falls asleep. Halley curls back up beneath her blanket and goes to sleep too. As they nap, the window remains open as the moble twirls around on Tommy's crib. After some time passes, Sputnik yawns and wakes up. Noticing the window is still open, so as to not get caught by the adults, she rushes over and closes it. At first, she thinks she's home free, but her expression quickly changes to a frown as she looks into Halley's crib, where she's hurtled beneath her blanket, shivering.]

[Cut to the kitchen where the kids are eating dinner. Halley is in her high chair, baby food spinnach dripping out of her mouth, sneezing, and getting ill. Olivia is attempting to feed Halley while Sputnik is over at the kitchen table, feeding herself.]

Olivia: Halley, are you ok hun?

Sputnik: I can feed myself!

Olivia": Yes, you're a big girl. Halley? Are you still sleeping?

Sputnik: Babies need a lot of sleep.

[Halley is moaning, her eyes half drooped shut, not eating a single bite of his dinner.]

Olivia: [concerned] I think I'd better go put you right to bed, you don't seem to be feeling well sweetheart.

Sputnik: Sometimes I stay up till nine o'clock!

Olivia: That's nice dear. You finish your dinner while I put Halley to bed.

[Olivia leaves the kitchen with Halley.]

Sputnik: [She dumped the burger, mashed potatoes and peas from the plate on to the floor beneath the table.] Oops, and it were so yummy, too.

[Bruce sniffs the spilled food on the floor and starts eating it.]

[We cut to Halley's bedroom where Olivia is putting him to bed.]

Olivia: Here's your teddy bear and your bottle. My little woopy okay? I don't want that! Aga booga booga wah. Well, Nighty-night. I guess you'll get an early start on your little slumber party. [

[Olivia turns out the light and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Halley sucks her bottle while listening to the music box on his moble, and it goes fast. His crib grows huge, as his hillutionation starts. The clown lamp dances and laughs. Halley gasps as her teddy bear grows big and the window monster goes roar. Halley then removes the bottle from her mouth, at which point, Sputnik, who now looks like the figure of Cupid on his moble, pops out of the nipple.]

Sputnik: Baby?

[Halley gasps.]

Sputnik: [Teasingly] Awe, mommy's little baby too cold?

[Halley tosses the bottle away and hides under her covers, pulling them over her head, shivering.]

Olivia: Halley? Are you all right?

[Halley removes the covers from her head to look up at Olivia, who now appears as the moon on her moble. She gasps at such a sight.]

Olivia: Oh my!

[Creepy music plays for a minute until it dies down as the hillusination pauses for a moment, transforming the moon appearance of Olivia back into her normal self, as she's seen carrying a frail looking Halley in her arms, his eyes half open, as she feels his forehead.]

Olivia: Oh my, you have a terrible fever honey!

Matthew: What's wrong with Halley?

[Just then, Matthew enters the room, at which point we pan back to Halley's view of her family. As Matthew enters, his normal human figure transforms into the cloud figure on Halley's moble and starts floating around the room. The room then transforms into outer space, with Halley on top of the half moon, as she's still in her mother's arms at this point.]

[Halley moans.]

Olivia: She's got a terrible fever honey, she's, burning up! I wonder how she came down with it so fast?

Sputnik: It wasn't me.

Matthew: I'll go call Dr. Shacter.

Olivia: Poor little thing!

Sputnik: Maybe Comet and Venus gave it to him, I know I didn't, did I?

[Grandpa Ben is now in the room, he appears to Halley as the airplane on his moble.]

Ben: Awe you guys call that doc every time the little fellow's got a hiccup. Now in my day...

Matt: [Appearing as the star on Halley's moble] Pop, why don't you get the thermometer.

Ben: Thermometer? Why the girl's just got a chill! All you've gotta do is turn her upside down...

Matt: [cutting him off] Never mind I'll get it.

Ben: Now just get some apple sauce and an old sock big enough for her head.

Matthew: [annoyed] Pop.

Olivia: Let him finish.

Ben: I was just saying, you turn her upside down and then feed her the apple sauce.

Matthew: I remember that one, it was apple sauce everywhere.

Olivia: Maybe we should try it.

Matthew: We're not doing the apple sauce! It didn't work then it doesn't work now. Anyway the doctor said not to worry to just give her her baby drops and call in the morning.

Sputnik: Maybe Jet came over and opened her window.

Matt: [now with the thermometer] Found it.

Ben: You kids just didn't have the stomach for the apple sauce cure.

Matt: Not the apple sauce cure.

Ben: Why we had to walk...

Matt: [bored] How many miles pop?

Ben: Fifteen miles to school for your information in the snow, with no shoes!

Matthew: Come on Champ here we go.

[Matthew is now holding Halley, making Halley appear on the cloud in her hillusination as he takes her temperature. As soon as her temperature is taken, we cut back to a shot of everybody as humans, Olivia is now looking through one of her Lipchitz books.]

Olivia: It says here in Lipschitz to put a radio under his or her pillow.

Matthew: Our radio's bigger than her pillow.

Sputnik: I don't see what the big fuss is all about, she's just faking it.

Olivia: Or it says we could sing him or her a lullaby! Do we know any?

Matthew: We could make one up.

Olivia: You think?

[We go back to the hillusination, Halley is now in Matthew's arms, making her appear in the cloud, as Stu rocks her back and force, and Olivia appearing as the moon is right next to him.]

(Matthew and Olivia sing a lullaby; not knowing one off-hand, they think one up spontaneously:)

Matthew: It's your bedtime, champ.

Olivia: Umm... Let's turn out the lamp.

Matthew: You'll feel better tomorrow.

Olivia: But this song you can borrow.

Matthew (whispering, to Olivia): Nice, Olivia.

Olivia (whispering, to Matthew): Thanks.

Matthew (back to Halley): If your cheeks are so red,

Olivia: and there's heat in your head,

Matthew: then we'll call up the doctor.

Olivia: His name's Herman Schachter.

Matthew: 'Cause you're our little girl.

Olivia: You're our pride and joy.

Matthew: And we think you're the best.

Olivia: So goodnight; get some rest.

[Halley moans something awful.]

Sputnik: Uh oh, maybe she isn't faking it.

[Halley throws up and puts vomit on Sputnik's pj's, now it's Sputnik who screams.]

Matt: Wait up, muffin, you're dripping everywhere.

Ben: That's my girl.

[In the hillusination, Matt as the star flies off into the sky, chasing after the dripping of vomit cupid figure of Sputnik, who's now crying. Halley relaxes on the Matthew's cloud, as her moaning relaxes and she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.]

[Halley opens her eyes to find it's morning. Now back in her crib, she lets out a huge yawn and sits up, looking around the room, to see that everybody slept in the room overnight. Matt and Sputnik are sleeping together in her cot bed, Matthew and Olivia are leaning on one another off to the side on a couch, and grandpa has fallen asleep in the rocking chair.]

[Halley smiles and coos slightly as Olivia awakens and comes over to Halley's crib, where she feels her forehead. At that moment, everybody else in the room wakes up too.]

Olivia: Oh Pumpkin, you seem much better this morning.

Matthew: Hey, how's my champ?

Ben: Well looky here, she's got my stamina that's for sure.

Matt: That was quite some chill you had you poor thing.

Sputnik: [sitting up in bed] Hey, who's gonna buy me a new dress?

Ben: You know what? I'm gonna make breakfast. Pancakes and apple sauce. I've got the strangest hankerage for some apple sauce.

[Ben leaves the room with Matthew following behind him. Matthew and Olivia also turn to leave the room.]

Matthew: Well after a night like last night I think we could all use a little bit of grandpa's apple sauce.

[All of the adults leave the room, leaving Halley and Sputnik by themselves. We can hear Ben babbling in the distance, as it fades away.]

Sputnik: Halley?

Halley: Yeah?

Sputnik: I've never seen anybody barf like that, wow!

Halley: Hmmm.

[Sputnik comes around to the side of Halley's crib.]

Halley: Sputnik?

Sputnik: Yeah?

Halley: Are slumber parties always like that?

Sputnik: It's like I told you before. [Pulling the side down on Halley's crib.] If you have to ask, you'll never know.

[Sputnik turns to leave the room.]

Halley: Hey wait!

[Halley jumps down from her crib on to the floor and follows Sputnik out into the hall to head down to breakfast.]

End of Episode